Winning Others To Your Way of Thinking

Learn about the general methods to win others to your way of thinking: influence, persuasion, mental conditioning, manipulation and brainwashing.

Back in the 1930's, to the detriment of mankind, a man named Adolf Hitler was able to convince millions of people that his conduct was "in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator". Several years earlier, a man called Mahatma Gandhi helped free the Indian people from British rule through nonviolent resistance.   What did these two men on complete opposite sides of the moral spectrum have in common?  They were both masters of winning others to their way of thinking.

As humans, we are endowed with the gift of free will.  We can use this will to believe and think as we wish.  Our beliefs can only be formed or changed by us, if we allow them and want them to be.  It is through influence, persuasion, mental conditioning, manipulation, and brainwashing that we allow our beliefs to be formed or altered.  Success is about winning others to your way of thinking whether it be persuading board members to move forward with your new idea, being a positive influence on the life of a child, or freeing an entire country.

There are five general methods to win others to your way of thinking: influence, persuasion, mental conditioning, manipulation and brainwashing.  All are equally powerful, but the last two are negative and can have serious repercussions.  It is important to our success that we learn how to effectively influence and persuade, but it is equally important to our well being that we learn how to recognize manipulation and brainwashing. Mental conditioning is considered neutral and can be positive or negative, depending on how it is used.

Influence.  To influence another is to sway or affect based on prestige, wealth, ability, knowledge or position.  This is a skill possessed by all leaders and successful individuals in all walks of life.  There are dozens of key techniques that are used to positively influence others, many of which are contained within this course.  Positive influence is characterized by the intent to create a win-win situation.  For example,  "Her polite and friendly way with people made her a very positive influence on her children." 

Persuasion.  To persuade another is to induce to undertake a course of action or embrace a point of view by means of argument, reasoning, or entreaty.  Persuasion is more assertive than influence, but may prove more effective at times.  Despite persuasion’s definition, argumentation should be avoided when persuading.  Clear reasoning is the most effective form of persuasion for getting your points across.  Open-minded individuals often will often say "convince me", in which they are basically asking to be presented with facts and reasoning so that they too can share your belief.

Mental conditioning.   Mental conditioning is a technique one often uses on oneself to change a belief or create a feeling using repetition.  Some common examples of this are prayer, mantras, and affirmations.  Mental conditioning can also be used on others.  The best-known example of this is advertising.  Advertisers use mental conditioning to associate a positive feeling with their product.  Through repeated exposure, our minds are conditioned to accept the association.  Only through awareness can we resist this type of conditioning, but for the most part it is harmless.  Do we really care if we feel excited about toilet paper?  It is the positive associations with potentially destructive products that we must be careful of accepting.

Manipulation.  To manipulate another is to use shrewd or devious management, especially for one's own advantage.  Simply put, the main difference between influencing another and manipulating them is intent.  Those who use manipulation do so only thinking about what they want, not about the wants of those they manipulate.  It is not easy to detect when you are being manipulated.  Once again, we must rely on our common sense to help us distinguish between influence and manipulation.

Brainwashing.  The dictionary defines brainwashing as "process of systematically, forcibly and intensively, indoctrinating a person to destroy or weaken his beliefs and ideas so that he becomes willing to accept different or opposite beliefs or ideas."  I do not fully agree with this definition because one cannot be "forced" to accept a belief; this contradicts the entire concept of free will.  One can however, be forced to live by another's belief, against his or her own will.  Remove the word "forcibly" and that is brainwashing in a nutshell.  The key element to brainwashing is the creation of an environment where questioning, doubt, reason, creativity, thinking for oneself and dissent are discouraged or even punished.

There are other methods of winning others to your way of thinking that are not listed above like physical force (which only appears to work), hypnotism (which is a skill practiced by a select few), and the Jedi mind trick (which to my knowledge, has only been used a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away).

The ability to win others to your way of thinking is a key element of both leadership and success.  There are just as many ways to do it wrong as there are to do it right.  As a successful leader, use positive influence often and gentle persuasion when necessary.  Use mental conditioning on yourself to abolish limiting beliefs or to instill empowering beliefs.  Never use manipulation or brainwashing in an attempt to win others to your way of thinking and be aware when others attempt to use these techniques on you.  Follow these suggestions, and you will possess the valuable skill of winning others to your way of thinking.

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